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gentle dying tips

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 1  Touch can be very healing. Gentle hand holding, stroking of hands and arms are gestures we instinctively use to comfort. A very simple hand massage using scented oils or creams can be a great way of communicating with someone when words are hard to find

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 2 Moisten a dying person’s lips and eyes regularly with warm damp  cotton  wool  or  sponge mouth wipes. Use mouth washes (cinnamon tincture in tepid water is very  goof   as commercial brands may  taste too strong)  if your friend is  finding it too strenuous or uncomfortable to brush their teeth

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3 Check that their ears are lying flat and comfortable on the pillow and are not squashed as this can lead to circulation problems and severe discomfort

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4 If you are able too, change the position of their head and shoulders every hour

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5 Learn  and share some very simple breathing techniques ( similar to the ones that pregnant women use during labour)  They can be very soothing and can help bring calm  after anxious moments

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6 Learn a simple visualisation technique which you can use as you sit and keep your friend company. This can be a useful distraction while you are waiting for pain relief to become effective

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7 B urn  essential oils in a burner in the bedroom. Lavender, Rose Geranium, Lemon   Myrtle  all smell lovely   and besides scenting the air they will revive and restore the  spirits of everyone who comes into the room. In Indian sandalwood is often used to help the spirit depart from the body

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8    If your friend has to be cared for away from home, in hospital or a care home, pack  their own pillows, duvet or bed covers for extra comfort. A present of a soft goose down pillow may also be really appreciated

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9    Soft  singing and whispering gentle assurances that “ all is well and all will be well”  or similar phrases can be very soothing

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10    Switch off harsh lighting. Candle light is preferable ( but not in a room where oxygen is being used)  but if this isn’t practical, a side light with a soft low  watt orange bulb is kinder to dying eyes

“ We got a baby alarm when George was dying  which was switched on day and night. He liked it because it meant we could get on with things downstairs and he  didn’t  have to get out of bed or shout to get us to hear him” Alice